“IF” by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master; 

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

AMOR FATI

MY WORD OF THE YEAR: ACCEPT

Life is NOT a PROJECT to be completed.

Life is a MOMENT and NOW is always the most important moment in your life.

There is NO THING, NO TIME, NO PLACE, NO THOUGHT more important than right HERE, right NOW.

I’ve come to understand that in the first half of my life I spent MOST of my time living for the future, striving for what I thought I needed and didn’t have AND regretting and resisting what I had done or WHAT or HOW I WAS.

We live in a comparative world. We believe our value is comparable to someTHING or someONE else.

How often do you see someone else (maybe on social media? maybe in person?) and THINK:

1)     That person LOOKS so great (compared to me)   OR

2)     That person is so SAD, SICK, POOR, UNFORTUNATE, LONELY, LOST, etc. (compared to me, I am so lucky not to be like that….YET, I still have complaints).

The root cause of despair is COMPARISON.

When we compare ourselves to other, whether it’s ENVY or REJOICE we feel, it’s COMPARISON.

According to Theodore Roosevelt, “COMPARISON is the THIEF of JOY”.

My word of the year is ACCEPT. My “concept” of the year is “BOTH/AND”. What I mean by BOTH/AND is, I will be a FULCRUM, as in the fulcrum of a SEE-SAW which represents the SPECTRUM of life experience.

For every GOOD, HAPPY, LIGHT, POSITIVE feeling there MUST be the opposite, BAD, SAD, DARK, NEGATIVE. Each is on one end of the see-saw or the spectrum and I CAN’T EXPERIENCE ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER. As the FULCRUM, I ACCEPT both equally. I simply experience both and try NOT to STRIVE for one or RESIST the other.

One of my favorite poems is “If” by Rudyard Kipling. As I began to write this I realized this poem is about the message I’m writing today. In particular, a line stands out that captures the essence of the poem and my message. “If you can meet with TRIUMPH and DISASTER and treat those two IMPOSTERS just the same….(fast forward to the near end) “Yours is the earth and everything that’s in it”.

Finally, in reading the “Daily Stoic” by Ryan Halliday and Stephen Hanselman I came upon the phrase “AMOR FATI”. In Latin it means LOVE YOUR FATE. My reticular activation system was set off as soon as I read this and I started hearing and reading it everywhere.

AMOR FATI, LOVE YOUR FATE, ACCEPT WHAT IS.

This is how I intend to live every day. There is freedom in loving what IS. Regardless of what IS, the freedom is in the choices we make in response. This is where our POWER lies.

Stop RESISTING, stop TRYING to control, stop COMPARING.

Choose to LOVE WHAT IS.

This is Graceing Agefully™.