If I have learned anything in 22 years in real estate, it’s that moving is traumatic and disruptive.
Now, as a Baby Boomer or what I prefer to call myself, a BLOOMER™, I see a side of the real estate “business” that was not predicted when my parents were getting older.
In fact, the model built for that generation is unsustainable, impractical and has left many Baby Boomers in their 60’s and 70’s STUCK.
There is a generation, an extremely large one, who are looking at the model that was predicted by our parents and shaking their heads and saying “NO, NOT ME!”.
As they continue to look OUTside for the next viable step, they see TOO of everything. TOO much chaos in the world, TOO high interest rates on mortgages (especially compared to where they are now), TOO much additional expense for condo fees, fees for amenities and convenience fees, TOO little income in their future, TOO many physical and medical problems they are anticipating and TOO much “stuff” they must get rid of before they move.
When empty-nester clients call me, it is usually when they are standing at the threshold of their next move and they want me to help them fix their homes to ready them for sale.
They are living and believing the model that was programmed for them, but they are stuck.
What they are looking for is an escape. They desperately want OUT.
Before I was a Realtor®, I was an executive in telecom. I recruited and hired staff. A colleague once told me “when you are interviewing a potential hire watch out for the ones who are running FROM a job; only hire people who are running TOWARD the job you are offering.”
Those words stuck with me. I remember being the one running FROM a job (when I was in retail). All I could think about was what I DIDN’T want in a new job. I didn’t have any idea of what I would bring to the table to benefit the company that was hiring. I memorized my achievements at my current job to make myself more attractive to the hiring manager.
I usually got the job and what I learned was that more money and more impressive titles did not equate to happiness and thriving in a job.
That lesson is coming back around in my real estate business and in my life. I see a bolus of Boomers who are trying to run FROM their current homes and they are not at all clear on where they are going.
They have a misguided belief that the equity in their current home will allow them to trade UP, DOWN-size, convenience UP, and DOWN cost.
THIS IS A FANTASY.
Here’s why:
- Moving exacts an emotional toll that is immeasurable and costs the person moving, their money and their mental and physical health.
- Disposing of one’s treasures, accumulated over a lifetime, in a compressed time frame, which moving demands, is like amputating a leg for a broken toe.
- If you don’t already own another home, say a vacation home or investment property, there are few examples of DOWN-sizing and UP-conveniencing that make sense financially, compared to your current home.
- If you are not running TOWARD something that is going to allow you to thrive and grow in old age, you have no destination. The equity you extract from the sale of your home is now a diminishing asset.
WHAT’S THE SOLUTION?
Instead of moving OUT, move IN.
Re-think your current home. Your roots established over the time you’ve lived there are an important asset to consider before up rooting. We often disregard the things that aren’t on our radar as problems. Consider carefully what you have that will need to be re-established or replaced if and when you move.
Make space. Before you DOWN-size your home, downsize the contents, take your time….you have time.
CURATE, don’t AMPUTATE. Get to know every room in your home in a new light. Take the furniture out of a bedroom and feel the space….it could have a whole new life in your second half.
Empty-nester? Extra bedrooms? Convert them into alternative use spaces.
What do you spend most of your time doing that brings you energy? Do you have a dedicated space for that practice and is it beautiful? Does the space make you want to go there? Does the space make you feel peaceful? Does it inspire your creativity?
Do you still work from home, even part-time? Are you working in the dining room? How about converting one of the bedrooms to an office or den. Create your own sacred space. Are there two of you? You can each create a sanctuary. Make it a place you WANT to spend time. Make it a place to work that ENERGIZES you.
Exercise? Yoga? Meditation? Breathwork? Reading? Any of these may be enhanced by a dedicated, tranquil space.
Think outside the box.
The formal living room is a vestigial organ of the one. Find a new use for it . Game room? Puzzle room? Mahjong room ;-)?
Make decluttering a daily habit. It requires persistent and consistent action and btw, it’s never done. Do you brush your teeth once a year? NO…decluttering is a daily habit like brushing your teeth or taking out the trash.
While you have time, start clearing the areas behind closed doors. The boxes that have been on a shelf since your last move are one step away from the dump (you may not even need to look inside…just sayin’).
RULES OF THE ROAD:
DO NOT worry about trying to SELL anything. Chances are, it doesn’t have enough value to make up for the time, effort and frustration of selling it. If you own a rare and valuable work of art, keep it for now. Selling “stuff” is only a delay tactic that will keep you from getting things OUT.
DO NOT try to do too much on any given day. You will get overwhelmed, down a rabbit hole of pictures, yearbooks and memories and get little or nothing done, nor will you go back and do it again tomorrow. This is the equivalent of over exercising in the beginning of January after a sedentary year. The first time you can’t get out of bed for full body sore muscles, the exercise honeymoon is over and you are likely to fall right back into your old habits.
Pick small, manageable spaces to clear, one at a time. A junk drawer (because I know you have more than one) is a great place to start. Another favorite of mine is the kitchen drawer that has all the gadgets you have acquired and used once and can’t throw away….now is the time to bag them up and donate them or toss them in the trash with a blessing of gratitude for them giving you back your drawer space (benefit: now, when you are looking for the peeler you use all the time and you have to part the seas to find it, it will be there openly available to you!).
You are probably discouraged reading this. I get it. I’m crushing your fantasy of life at a discount luxury resort living in a tiny and infinitely charming cottage, surrounded by happy, thriving, and attractive seniors.
Sadly, it’s a fantasy. I’m doing you a favor. Don’t delay your trip to reality.
THE GOOD NEWS
You are as healthy as you’ll ever be right now. Your cost of living is as low as it will ever be and whatever the situation in your current home….it’s going with you to your new life if you don’t change some things now. (“Wherever You Go, There You Are”, Jon Kabat-Zin).
The second half of life is a time to EXPAND, not SHRINK. LIVE while you are alive and well.
If you are feeling STUCK in your current home and you think the only way OUT is OUT——Move IN, make space, DE-clutter your MIND and your SPACE first. Learn to LIVE and THRIVE in the space you have.
Call or email me if this has made you think differently. Subscribe to my website: https://graceingagefully.com and follow me on social media, I will be writing more about this going forward
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