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I plan a word of the year every year. I choose a word or a theme that accurately defines my intention and hope for the coming year. I choose it by “feel”. It comes to me through my journaling, meditation, and spiritual contemplation. This year my word is “integrate” and my goal is to live a ‘well-integrated’ life every day.

In 2022 my word of the year was a phrase, “getting comfortable with my discomfort”. I knew I would have to do that in order to accomplish what was ahead for me. The pandemic prepared me pretty well for that. I think it prepared all of us. We had no choice but to get comfortable with discomfort. What is more uncomfortable than uncertainty? The world around us is uncertain. It seems more than ever, doesn’t it? Politics, war, disease, economy, shootings, suicides, drug addiction, fires, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods. Sadly, I could continue for a long time, but I will stop here. Fact is, the world has always been uncertain. Life is uncertain. Fact is also we don’t like surprises. Fact is we love certainty. We feel we’ve been robbed of certainty and we are on shaky ground all of a sudden. WRONG.

I believe I speak for many of us. Not to be arrogant or presumptuous, but I’m a child of this world and I can see that our culture has taught us to plan. It has taught us to predict and avoid negative outcomes. It has taught us to be wary of “too good to be true”. It has taught us to wait for “the other shoe to drop”. My parents taught us not to anticipate exciting and fun things like vacations or trips for fear of DISAPPOINTMENT if they did not happen. All of this gives one the illusion of control. I am learning in the second half of life the habit of hoping for certainty is a fool’s errand. I am learning it boxes me into a smaller and smaller space. If I keep building walls to protect myself from uncertainty, I will eventually be paralyzed and overwhelmed by uncertainty.

In 2022 I got much more comfortable with my discomfort. It took the form of trying new things. It took the form of putting myself out there. It took the form of exposing my authentic self. I was just getting to know her. She was very different from the previously launched version of me. She doesn’t look particularly different, although there are some small physical changes that may or may not go unnoticed by those who have known me for a while. (Hint: look at my nails). (Hint: look at my hair). (Hint: look at what I’m wearing). Enough of that.

In 2022 I had a chapter published in a book. The book is “The Ultimate Guide to Self Healing, Volume 5” and my chapter was 20 “Graceing Agefully™”, subtitle “Feed the Good Wolf in the Second Half”. You can find it on Amazon if you’re interested. I also launched a platform called Graceing Agefully™. Launching a platform was a big hairy discomfort. Most people don’t know what that means. Frankly, I didn’t know what it meant, I just knew I had to do it. I was obsessed with positive aging. I was saying out loud what I had been mulling over for years. I want to change the “culture of aging”. The “culture of aging” is what we have been taught about getting old. It is what we have been conditioned to believe must happen after the age of 60 or 65. It is what we have been taught to be prepared for in order to avoid the uncertainty which we believe is a certainty of aging. Do you see where I’m going now?

I’m 68 and it’s great. I’ve written another chapter for another book that will be published in January. This book will be titled “Mindset Mastery”. My chapter is titled “Living Inside Out in the Second Half” subtitled “Getting Comfortable with Discomfort”. The subtitle describes the practice that follows the story. The practice that has helped me to accept uncertainty with open arms. The practice that moves me forward every day into the unknown, breaking through the walls I had built around my authentic self.

I’m blogging from my platform. If I had said that when I was 30 I would have been speaking a foreign language. Blogging wasn’t a word in the dictionary then. Platform was in the dictionary, but the combo probably would have raised suspicion about the state of my mental health, lol. What it means to me is I am sharing my views, ideas, and experiences about the new age of aging from a personal perspective. I’m finding it is not at all what I was conditioned to believe it would be. I’m also finding that putting myself out there has been life-changing. I’m inured to criticism, doubt, and disagreement with my ideas. After years of fearing disagreement and disappointment, the freedom of “bring it on” is glorious. I used to spend a lot of time in disappointment. The tiniest things would cast a shadow over my mood. Sometimes I would just feel bad and not know what caused it. I would get back to action in protecting myself from disappointment and that would make me feel better. What an illusion! Actually a DELUSION.

BTW, getting comfortable with my discomfort is never done. It’s always an uphill climb. I’m making progress up the hill, but I will never summit until it’s all over. That’s ok, I’m getting stronger, braver, kinder, and happier all along. I’m building the muscles to continue the climb. It’s getting easier for sure. It’s a habit. So, let’s talk about 2023 and the word of the year, integrate.

Graceing Agefully™ is a platform now. In more understandable language, it’s a website graceingagefully.com. It also has a social media presence on Facebook (Meta I suppose), on Instagram, and on Linked In. I am posting this as my next blog post, so, that may be where you will read it.

My goal for every day and for the rest of my life is to live a “well-integrated life”. In my case, that means I take into account all the key areas of life to ensure they are getting appropriate attention in my hours, days, weeks, months, and years. The areas I have defined are (in no particular order) PHYSICAL, FINANCIAL, MENTAL/EMOTIONAL, RELATIONSHIPS, and SPIRITUAL. This year I added ENVIRONMENTAL. I’m still working on how it fits in, but I think it is about understanding our individual impact on the world, especially with respect to the environment, but more than just the environment. I creating a plan, and a strategy to optimize my activities so I cover multiple key areas with each one. I also spend more time on the activities that have the greatest positive impact on the most key areas. If you are wondering what that looks like, here’s an example:

I am on Medicare. I learned that my Medicare plan had an option called “Mutually Well”, in some it is “Silver Sneakers” and others have other names. For some it’s free, for me it costs $25/month. Among other things, it gives me free membership to about 5 or 6 different gyms that have multiple locations. I joined 2 right away. One of them has pools in every location. I started Aqua Fit, a fitness class in the pool. I had an injury at the time that I had wanted to either swim or do some water-based exercise while I healed. I started Aqua Fit and I love it because it’s fun (mental/emotional). I do it once a week. I have made friends there (relationships). I have healed the injury and I’m getting stronger and more fit in ways that “terrestrial” exercise have limited (physical). It’s nearly free or only $25/month (financial). That class hits on 4 of 6 areas with one activity.

This year with INTEGRATE as my guide, I will optimize my time by finding more ways to integrate my platform with my business, real estate. As 2022 comes to a close, I feel a bit scattered. My activities seem to be divided between Graceing Agefully™ and real estate. My blessing has been to have enough time and finances to do the hard work of starting something new. Now I begin the hard work of combining them.

Alot of people ask “are you still doing real estate?”. The question used to send tremors through my body and I would revert into panic mode, like “what have I done?” “have I lost the bubble?”. I’m getting comfortable with that discomfort now and I assure you “HELL YES!”.

My experiences in real estate gives me the gift of guiding people through a life transition like moving, selling, and buying. This is the crucible in which this platform and its mission were formed. Like any concept, research is critical to the growth and flourishing of the platform, the concept. My real estate business is my research lab. In this laboratory, I observe and interact with people under stressful conditions. This is where the reality of the human condition is revealed. It affects people in every category of life and I am blessed to be witness and participant.

So, YES, I am absolutely still in the real estate business and plan to continue to grow that business and thrive. If anything is different, I am more focused on helping fellow Baby Boomers become “Baby BLOOMERS” in their second half. I have learned that my fellow Baby Boomers are making many of their life decisions in cooperation with their children. They are often making moves to be nearer their children and grandchildren, or at least be more accessible to them. I know the moves that Baby Boomers will be making in their 60’s 70’s and 80’s are not going to look anything like what they may have been conditioned to believe.

If you are reading this, chances are you are in my life already or are close to someone else who is and who sent this to you (thank you to that person, and welcome to you!). I hope you will check out my platform in any of its forms. I hope you will share your thoughts. I’m open to criticism now, LOL!! (It’s not natural for me, but I’m stronger so bring it on, I know I need to hear it. ).

If you are looking to thrive in your second half and searching for ideas, community, information, inspiration, and support, please join me and the growing community at graceingagefully.com.

Thank you for getting this far. I wish everyone Happy Holidays and Happy New Year.

This is Graceing Agefully™.