In my real estate business, I often refer to W-A-M when preparing clients for the process of their real estate transaction. There are always challenges which arise. Most of them I’ve experienced with other clients, and if I haven’t, one of my colleagues has and they will share their wisdom to help us through. What I always tell my client is “a real estate transaction is like a game of W-A-M, you have an issue pop up and as you get that under control, just be prepared, another one will pop up. The smoothest transactions can still be riddled with bumps and detours. The good news is, there is not a lot we haven’t seen before. I can’t guarantee a stress-free experience, but I guarantee, when things happen, I’ll be there to help you through!”. I hope this prepares them in a way to expect little surprises but not to overreact when they come up, we’ve seen it all before and they’ll get through it with our help.
The W-A-M metaphor really works for me. I’m not sure how you win the game, I just know that playing it is a lot like getting through a real estate transaction and it applies to all of life. What I know is in life and probably in the game, you never get all the moles down at once. Playing the game of life means finding joy in the rhythm, not trying to achieve the state of no problems (moles popping out of holes). The rhythm is a dance with a tempo and joy is in the flow.
I use the term “well-integrated life”. There is a similar phrase we hear a lot, “work/life balance”. This is different. Work/life balance separates work from life. I believe it is a reaction to years of “Type A” work culture that has prevailed since the 80’s and reached a crescendo in the 90’s. We worked more hours to make more money so we could afford better homes, cars and vacations than we had time to enjoy. Now, we’re breaking down because we didn’t take care of ourselves.
Maybe a well-integrated life is a luxury only afforded those of us in the second half of life? Regardless, a well-integrated life is one that blurs the lines between what I’m calling the key areas of life: physical, financial, relationships, emotion/mental and spiritual.
An example is “I have to work today (financial), so I don’t have time to work out. Or, you don’t have time to meditate every day or you don’t have time to journal or pray or whatever you consider self care that is prioritized below work. Every day we skip one of those in favor of another is a day that renders us vulnerable to a spike or precipitous drop in the flow of life. It’s a day that the next mole may pop out and take us down.
That may sound idealistic but I don’t think it is. It requires thought, self-awareness, and planning but it’s not a pipe dream. Flow is the goal, not getting all the moles down at once.
We’ve all done it. There have been times in all our lives when we’ve been hit repeatedly by what some spiritual leaders call the 2X4 in the head. Here it comes again just when you thought things were “getting back to normal”. Eventually we become more resilient and we get through more easily. The peaks and valleys are less severe, just rolling hills.
Take the pandemic. We were all caught off guard in the beginning. Life changed all over the world in a matter of days. Just as we would adapt and adjust another variant was announced, another surge, another fear. Vaccines, which one? Who can get them? How, Where? Remember masking up, getting in the car and driving, in my case, to an amusement park! We got in a line the likes of which we only knew from Disney. We waited, waved through by legions of military personnel, opened the window, stuck our arm out, and got jabbed by someone in a hazmat suit. Then we weren’t sure we wouldn’t have a reaction, so we waited in another area anxiously to see if we were going to have an allergic reaction.
Early on, I had an upper respiratory infection. I had to get a prescription to make an appointment for a test. I had to drive an hour alone to another county to an army base to get the test. In my car, a nurse in a hazmat suit jabbed what looked like a cotton tipped javelin up my nostril so far I thought she hit brain and took a sample . My visit was documented officially and I drove home. I had to quarantine in my home for the next 10 days waiting for results which turned out negative (thank God). I couldn’t leave my bedroom during quarantine without rubber gloves and a mask and only if there was no one else in the room where I went, like the kitchen. I was instructed to disinfect everything I touched outside my room. I worried the entire time that I was going to die, there was no vaccine yet and no therapeutic medication except Tylenol. Today? I hear monkeypox? I say, no big deal. It seems like such a distant memory, yet it was a little more than 2 years ago. We’ve come a long way baby.
My point is this: Life is like a game of W-A-M. Playing and flowing is the goal. Giving each area of life equal time each day. Building resilience, physical strength, mental and emotional resilience, financial wellness and spiritual connection is flow. Flow is winning in the game of life. When you are in flow you are living a “well-integrated life”.
A few tips to stay in flow:
Remind yourself of what you have when something is taken away. Remind yourself what you can do when you learn you can’t do something else. Remind yourself, whatever happens, this too shall pass. Stay present, you will be in flow.
Find something every day to celebrate. Find something every day that brings you joy. Find someone who needs you today and give them a call, a hug, a smile; give them some of your positive energy and it will come back to you in spades. You will be living a “well-integrated life!” This, is Graceing Agefully™.
Jennifer K Sproul
P.S. (After I wrote this, I decided to look online at W-A-M and there are some You-Tube videos of people playing the game. It was quite different than I pictured in my head. The interesting thing was, I watched Vin Diesel playing the game in an arcade. As he played, there was such a rhythm as he bopped the heads down with the padded hammer, it sounded like music, it was percussive, a joy to listen and watch. He was in flow!)
I just reread this again – better the second/third time around. After the week we’ve all been through with Rackspace it’s good to be reminder of W A M!
Love you
Nancy